I’m 22. I graduated last year with a B.A. in Law & Society. I enjoy researching, writing, analyzing and reporting. I look at trends and see how they affect the lives of everyday citizens. This is what I enjoyed about my major. Furthering on, I thought the best next move for myself was law school. I thought that being a lawyer and totally immersing myself in the law was the way to go. Unfortunately, I suck at multiple choice tests. I did my best at the LSAT, submitted my applications anyway, and am now faced with a dilemma. Do I really want to be a lawyer? Is that what my passion is? Or was that the minor part of what I enjoyed about my time as an undergrad.
Thankfully I am at a stage in my life where I can choose to change direction as I see fit. I think what is most important to me is finding this out now, rather than spending a year at law school and figuring I don’t want this. I think my skills are better suited at something more charged on writing and analysis, rather than interpretation and application. I’ve been struggling with this for some time now because I’m a good student and I could not figure out for the life of me why I was not good enough to be accepted into law school. And now, I think I’m realizing maybe it’s not what I wanted. Maybe I need to reconsider what I thought was always set in stone as soon as I entered college.
Change is hard. Especially when it comes to reconsidering your entire life plan and career. But at the same time, change is necessary. When we find ourselves doing things because we think we have to and not necessarily because we want to, we cheat ourselves out of finding what we truly want to live for. I originally thought my interest was wholly in the law. Truthfully, it was the research and analytical aspect of laws and their relationship with sociology that kept me interested and invested in my major.
Last night, when this realization hit me like a ton of bricks, I thought about the time and money wasted on focusing all my energy on law school and what I would do with my life if I couldn’t get in. I asked my dad, “What happens if I decide I don’t want to go to law school?”. He said, “It’s your life, do what makes you happy.” Which is funny because he said that’s why he recommended I write a book and become an author. I’ve been blessed with parents so incredibly understanding, that even when I think my world is shattering beneath me they are always there to propel me to new heights and remind me that I’m still young. I’m going to make mistakes and change my mind. Because at the end of the day if I’m not happy doing what I supposedly love, what is the point?